Don’t ask me why I kept the title as genuine goodbyes!
Because Its GG!! And I am GENZ!!
This blog’s gonna make you cozy, Hope you guys don’t go crazy!
PS : I am not dizzy🤞
F̶i̶n̶a̶l̶l̶y̶ I̶ g̶o̶t̶ s̶o̶m̶e̶ t̶i̶m̶e̶ t̶o̶ r̶e̶f̶l̶e̶c̶t̶ o̶n̶ m̶y̶s̶e̶l̶f̶ a̶n̶d̶ w̶r̶i̶t̶e̶ t̶h̶i̶s̶ b̶l̶o̶g̶.
I took some time out to work on this blog.Honestly, say it out. Did you think my next blog will take another 6 months to come out? No! I am not a slave anymore.(I’m working in another tab😓).
Start reading the blog dawg!
Living in different states for the past few years has given me incredible exposure to a whole variety of people. And by “exposure,” I mean I’ve met so many personalities, it could fill an entire reality TV show, say BIGBOSS! Seriously, it’s like I’ve been living in a social experiment, hopping between different worlds and getting a taste of everything.
Now, let’s talk about my hustle life as a college student. Picture this: juggling assignments, endless deadlines, and still somehow managing to travel every weekend. Yep, that was me. I would pack my bags, jump on a bus, train, or whatever mode of transportation I could find, just to catch up with people I hadn’t seen in years. It wasn’t just about the travel - it was about the reunion. You know, those long-overdue meetups where you sit down with old friends, share stories, laugh till you can’t breathe, and then, of course, pretend that you haven’t changed a bit since the last time you saw each other. Ah, the magic of nostalgia!
And before you ask - Please don’t ask me how I got money to travel?
But I can assure you that I didn’t beg on footpaths. Well, think of it as a mix of saving, spontaneous decisions, and questionable financial planning. But hey, who needs a stable bank balance when you can have a lifetime of memories, right? Wrong, Its a black lie that those youtube backpackers tell you! You need money to survive da! 😏
So, it really didn’t hit me until I met a few of my friends and seniors last July, who were about to head abroad to pursue higher studies. It was like a sudden wake-up call, and everything just came rushing in. I don’t even know where to begin, but hey, I’m starting now.
I was at home in June, going through a very hectic work schedule, and I got a message in a group chat of good older classmates saying “3 in a 7 member friend circle are going abroad in different universities in July,(1 already left!)”. Obviously I did ignore group chat messages at first, but then, I started getting calls to break the news to me.
I already knew two of them were preparing for exams, but I didn’t expect another friend to be leaving as well. So, I decided to call one of the three to ask about their plans. That’s when I found out that they weren’t just going to study - they were planning to settle there forever after working for a year here. And honestly, it made perfect sense when they explained it. Given the work culture here and the quality of life there, it was a reasonable move.
But that night, a lot of million thoughts are running in my mind, say “What am I doing with my life?” “Shouldn’t I think about life more seriously?” “Am I going to stay back, while others are achieving big things?” “Why are everyone going abroad?”
Initially, my grand plan after B.Tech was to go straight into a Ph.D. at NUS in my specialization - because, you know, I was going to be the next big brain in the field. But, of course, life had other plans. For some reason - let’s just say life’s unpredictability - that dream got dropped faster than my grades in the first year. So, yeah, I’m not really into academics anymore. Turns out, I’m more of a “let’s figure things out as we go” kind of person now!
Thinking back to that night, I was under a ton of pressure, both professionally and personally. Thankfully, the next day was Saturday, so I gave myself some time to face those thoughts head-on. To top it off, there was a reunion party of that friend group happening in Bangalore. So, I decided to head back to Bangalore and meet up with them one last time. I realized I hadn’t been giving enough time to my family either because of my job, so I figured it was the perfect opportunity to step away, get some space, and really think things over.
Escapism Type : 1
Okay, now in Bangalore..
I went to Bangalore at the end of June, and that’s when I found out that two of my super seniors, one senior, and two girls from another friend group were all heading abroad as well. That’s when I decided, “Alright, this will be the last time I’ll be in Bangalore.” Of course, I ended up going back again in October - because I got bored at home. But that’s a whole other story, so let’s park it here for now.
Amazing, more than half of the people I know in Bangalore are heading abroad. (Most of my friends are working in Hyderabad anyway.) Wahh!!!
And… that’s the end!!
For the next few weekends, I turned into a social butterfly, hopping from one meet-up to the next - dinners, lunches, breakfasts, drinks, you name it! Whenever there was a free window of time, I was there, trying to squeeze in one last hangout before they all flew off. It was like a speed marathon, but with food. Sadly, though, I couldn’t manage to meet the two girls.
I even started meeting up my existing friends, because I decided I won’t be staying in Bangalore from August. Honestly, the only thing I found amusing about the city was the traffic - and how it never seemed to reduce. It was like a never-ending cycle of honking and lane-scrambling. So, in the short span of July time, I met everyone I could in the weekdays, weekends from school friends to office colleagues to strangers whom I met along the way and made good friends with. If you were breathing and living in Bangalore, chances are, we tried to catch up in July!
One common thing I noticed from all the people I met in July is that they were so clear about their paths-not because they wanted to do it, but they chose these paths hoping life would throw them something better on the other side. It was like they were all on a treasure hunt, just hoping that the next step would lead to something shiny and valuable-like a job offer or a high-paying opportunity, or a good life.
It made me realize, that there are very less possibilities I would see them in person again in this life, except if they are planning to invite me in their weddings.
Can’t guarantee my presence, but I will try. 😂
Okay now coming to the feelings and self doubt, I was trying to overcome in that month was really cumbersome. I stopped talking to family, as I was not able to control my mood swings. Was getting very offensive at little things, trying to blame myself for every single thing that went wrong. It was like a never-ending cycle of self-criticism.
But then, after meeting up with some people and having genuine, in-person conversations, things started to click. I realized something I couldn’t see on my own: everyone is struggling in their own way. We’re all navigating life by choosing different paths to escape reality, one way or another. It’s like we’re all stuck in this loop, trying to figure things out, but somehow, we never really leave it. We just learn to deal with it better.
Some gets into relationships, some hits the gym everyday more than needed, some indulge themselves into work, some attend parties, some quit their jobs, some go abroad.(Typical Indian Youth*)
In this process of self-evolution, we often forget that true growth comes from people we meet. Life is a journey, and while we often say “Time teaches us everything,” the real lessons come through the people we encounter. Life is a book, time is the index on the front page, and the people we meet are the chapters that guide us through tough times.
I used to be a very static person until I shifted states. I was introverted, adamant, and stubborn - basically someone who knew nothing beyond studying, the basketball court, and writing stories. I didn’t like meeting people, never went to functions or outings, and preferred to stay in my own bubble. If I had to go somewhere, I’d go alone, and that was the end of it.
I used to recognize some of my own faults in how I handled situations with relatives, often making things awkward for my family. I had this habit of being blunt, speaking my mind without hesitation, and honestly, I couldn’t understand why elders would act all pleasant in front of relatives - it felt like rocket science to me at the time.
As I was going through puberty, it only got worse. I’d spend entire days debating with my family about everything - Why do we have to do that? Why do I have to do this? Every little thing became a question that needed an explanation, and I wasn’t satisfied with anything less than a deep philosophical debate.
At one point, my mom gave up hope on me. She stopped inviting me to functions and outings. When guests would come over, my family would say I was sleeping or out with friends, offering excuses for my absence.
At the exact same time, a sibling duo moved into my neighborhood - my first “learning stage” from strangers. FYI, I was an atheist at that time, and that uncle is a next level devotee. My mom, in her infinite wisdom, would send me to their house, asking their family to “shred some light” on me, as if they had the magical cure for my teenage rebelliousness.
But they really did help me a lot. I slowly began learning to appreciate what I had. There was a bit of arrogance in me for being a topper, but that faded after they shared some valuable perspective. Of course, my topper rank also faded 😇 when I shifted to high school and then college, and maybe along the way I realized first ranks are not that fun anymore and I stopped focusing on my academics. I started making new friends and slowly pushing myself out of my comfort zone, bit by bit.
Then I realized, the issue wasn’t with me, but with the typical Indian relatives who make teens uncomfortable with their nosy questions and judgmental remarks.
When I was in school, I’d hear:
- “How are you studying?”
- “What’s your rank in class?”
- “How are the classes going?”
In college, the questions shifted to:
- “What’s the average CTC your college gets?”
- “What’s your CGPA?”
- “Why didn’t you choose CSE? Why Mechanical?”
- “Will you get a 20L+ package?”
My inner self hearing those questions!
Now that I’m working, it’s more of the same:
- “How much are you earning?”
- “What’s your CTC?”
- “How much are your friends making?”
- “When are you getting married?”
Probably when I get married, the question phrase would change from “you” to “your kids” nothing else.
Honestly, screw them. What they should be asking, as respectful elders, is:
- “How’s life?”
- “What are you into these days?”
- “How’s your learning process?”
- “How are you coping with life?”
But let’s be real, we can’t change them anyway. Even if Martin Luther King himself came back and started a revolution, it wouldn’t change the mindset of Indian relatives. But fear not, because GEN Z is the new revolution! We’re here to flip the script, change the game, and make sarcastic comments the new norm. Who needs a peaceful march when you’ve got memes, right?
Rooting for GenZ Relatives for my kids 😊
OK, I think the topic is deviating from the original title (teenage frustration bro), What I meant to say is, the real lesson my relatives taught me was adaptability. I will meet more people like them in future, I should be able to tackle them on my own, I can’t escape from those tight spot, uneasy, annoying questions. No more running away - I’ve got to face them with a smile (and a few sarcastic comebacks- the cherry on top for convo’s).
Anyway, you can’t really say goodbye to your relatives - you’re stuck with them for life(S.A.D Life). But you can say goodbye to the people who’ve served their purpose in your life. Instead of ignoring the fact that you’re not going to see them anymore, or talk to them like you used to, just accept it. There will be a point when you both become complete strangers, and that’s okay. It’s just another chapter in the book of life… even if it’s a climax you didn’t see coming.
Every damn thing fades, Spider man is the proof! Evidence No: 1
So, it’s better to show your gratitude when you have the chance and cherish the people while you’re still reading their chapter. We all know how this works - at every stage in life, we meet people. Some become strangers the moment you meet them. Others get so close that they know everything about you - your family, your thoughts, your embarrassing moments. Unknowingly, over time, you share everything, and they do the same.
But once the journey with them ends, you start noticing the shift. The every-hour calls become every-day calls, then every-week, then every-month, then it’s just WhatsApp or normal text messages. And before you know it, they vanish into thin air. Ideally, you’d sense when the relationship starts to fade, but sometimes, it happens so slowly that it feels like it’s just drifting away. And that’s life, right?
All my teenage years, I learned a lot from the sibling duo, but now we barely talk. My close school friends? I have a vague idea what they’re up to and where they are. My childhood friend, whom I spent every waking moment with, got married without me even knowing. Another close school friend and I had a fallout over a phone call, and I ghosted him. And my intermediate benchmates? Yeah, no clue where they ended up. As for my BTech friends, we barely talk because we’re all stuck in the same daily shit. Even my two mentors, who I’d been starting and ending my days with for four years, went abroad to settle down. Now, we chat two messages a day.
My abroad buds texting me at 10:30 P.M IST., and me checking that message at 10:30 A.M. My deepest condolences.
Actually, when you shift states for better opportunities, you slowly start realizing that the relationships you once cherished begin to fade away. You tell yourself it’s just part of the journey, but it still hits you - how those connections that once felt so important, start to feel like distant memories. And as you move forward, you can’t help but wonder if they miss you too, or if you have simply become another chapter in their own story.
And nothing is forever in life. Once its purpose is served in your life, it will eventually fade away.
Even Iron man died da😭, What’s permanent in this universe! Evidence No: 2
But there are those rare cases where both sides put in the effort, and you manage to keep them by your side for a long time even with those rare text messages. Its more of that few assumptions in physics which never leaves you even in a very unrelatable chapter. You might not always see their role in the current chapter, but they stick with you through it all, just for exactly that one moment in the later phases. They stay. You make them stay!
Spider Man Stayed dude! The director made him stay, LMAO!
I gave a grand goodbye to my older self - the one who wasn’t capable of facing the world, and definitely not open to life’s lessons. Now, after talking to elder people who talk straight to face and still don’t realize how hurtful their words can be, I see my 15-year-old self in them. I am thankful to the people I met along the way.
After reading Doglapan by Ashneer Grover, I realized everything has three sides. There’s your perspective, the other person’s perspective, and then the world’s perspective, which often differs greatly from the first two.
You need to know when to talk nonsense and when to keep quiet, because the world only hears what it wants to hear!
Remember most of the life lessons you get are from people, meet more people to learn how to live. Obviously our ass*s will never try to learn from our very own parents, so we need to move out to learn.
As for my way of sending genuine goodbyes? I either treat them to food or give meaningful souvenirs, and it’s something that’s been replicated from both sides. So, to my pals, make sure to give grand, genuine goodbyes!
"The world is too big to stay in one place and life is too short to do just one thing”.
So, I’m picking up where I left off six years ago and getting back to writing. Hoping to publish a blog every week from now on!