It’s been a while since I’ve been here. Watching the title, “If you think I’m venting because I’m on my period, you’re wrong. My friend is. 🫣 This blog is for them who’ve never had a boyfriend - just like Elsa.
And the boys with zero uterus problems: Ever wondered what it’s like to wake up feeling like there’s a WWE in your stomach? Imagine waking up ready to crush the day, and hear your uterus saying, “Surprise! Surprise, fker!” - your period has arrived.
I won’t dive into Biology because I had taken MPC stream, and that’s how I fucked up my life and either way it would still be the same. 🫠
They say the period cycle is 25–28 days span, but the signs start way before day 25. What signs? Tiny electric back pains and those annoying pimples - classic starters for most adults. If you’re not getting them, thank your genes.
The uninvited guests of hormonal imbalance and are utterly painful. Just when you think you’re glowing, they show up - right before an important event, with no sense of timing.
Body heat rises → pimples appear.
Surrounding heat increases → pimples appear.
Oil glands get active → pimples appear.
Stress causes pimples, and seeing them stresses us more.
The trick is simple: don’t touch it. Slap on one of those cute, glowing butterfly pimple patches, throw on your favorite oversized hoodie, and head out for pizza.
The second most annoying thing, but they don’t have to ruin your day - if you’re reading this on your period, you’re probably about to shout, “of course, they do b*tch.” I apologize for offending you and I totally understand.
Heat is magic. Grab a heating pad, use a hot water bottle, or cuddle your pillow (since no one else is there to cuddle you). If the pain’s too much, take meds - even if meftal gave up on you ages ago.
Don’t think, “I should tough it out.” Tough is overrated. Comfort >> ego, always. But we still try to tough it out because we’ve never taken pills before, and there’s that irrational fear: “What if my periods stop next month?”
Spoiler: Trust my friends, they have taken it. It didn’t happen.👉👈
PS : For the men reading this, you can’t relate it. Idk how to explain, you can go try a period simulator.
The one that makes me want to rip my uterus out - STAINS. Not really stains, the fear of getting stains. That moment when you stand up in public and it feels like your own blood has betrayed you? We’ve all been there. Stains aren’t some moral failure - it’s just biology being unnecessarily dramatic.
Since We don’t have some guy dramatically spinning his denim jacket around us to save the day. Keep a pack of pads, tampons, or your menstrual cup handy and a fucking jacket even its hecking hot outside.
Pro tip: Dark clothes are your besties on heavy days. And if someone notices the stain? then? Fuck it, they do have stains too 🙄.
Don’t trust those lying ads. Who the hell wears white pants and jumps around like a kangaroo on their period? *f’s be selling stones saying those are diamonds.
I wish my life was like a sanitary pad commercial. - so fun, active, and carefree. How happy the woman portrayed, was in the ad, I had never been like that in my entire life even without my periods on. #RIP Happy life!!
Flow days vary. Some of us are fine on Day 1 and hit hell on Day 2, while others start heavy. The panic of sneezing on a heavy flow day is so real. That awkward shuffle when you’re checking for stains without making it obvious. We have all been there. You’re bleeding, but you’ve got places to be - school, college, work, or maybe just the grocery store because snacks are non-negotiable. Period feels like it’s out to ruin not just your body but your mood.
What can you do? Nothing!! Just get up and deal with it, binge watching.
The mood swings have their own soap opera. One minute you’re chill, the next, you’re sobbing because you can’t find the charger. But instead of fighting it, what if you just sleep whenever you get time?
Weird taboos - the whole “untouchable” thing during periods? Not being allowed at festivals, religious rituals, or certain places? Seriously? Your period doesn’t make you unclean; it makes you powerful.
Honestly, I’m more productive in those two days than the rest of the month combined. Obviously! we have to fight with the pain, so we indulge ourselves in work.
Oh man, I can’t with these dumb humans anymore.
The idea behind it was to let women rest at least for the 5 days, but Indian society twisted it into something else.
The worst part? These beliefs are so deeply ingrained in women’s mind, they themselves hesitate. I once found myself reluctant to enter a temple during one of my trips all because of this conditioning even there were none to stop me. It’s a shame, really.
That’s science, not shame. The next time someone says women shouldn’t attend festivals or cook because they’re “unclean,” kindly remind them that if it weren’t for periods, humanity wouldn’t even exist. End of discussion.
If you say this to your family, it can be an end for you as well, so be cautious.
It is that time to channel some empathy, patience, and self-love because who else is gonna have your back like you? Because your back is only yours. Lmao, sorry for the bad joke. ;)
There can never truly be fair play between genders when one half of the population is bleeding for a quarter of their prime years while juggling life, work, and society’s expectations. People who menstruate spend around 60 days a year bleeding on average. Think about that. If you’ve ever felt like you’re running a race with men and they’re a few laps ahead - well, they are. Two whole months ahead, to be exact.
Imagine competing while your body feels like it’s at war with itself, yet the world expects you to “just deal with it.” If that doesn’t make you a superhero, what does? Andrew Garfield’s spidy webs?😝
Being the perfect boyfie to yourself also means knowing when to say no. If you’re at home and feeling like a potato, let yourself rest. Skip the chores, ditch the guilt, and just be. If you’re at school or the office, take breaks. Advocate the needs, whether that’s time off or just someone to normalize conversations about periods. If you’re traveling, pack smart.
At the EOD, being a boyfie to yourself is about treating yourself the way you’d want someone else to. Be patient when your mood swings are wild. Be kind when your body feels heavy and tired. Laugh off the stains, embrace the pimples, and remember - your period thoughts can never define you.
Now since my target audience is not just women, so for men reading this - if there’s a woman in your life (there definitely is), here’s your cheat sheet:
If she’s curled up with cramps, don’t say, “Is it really that bad?” It is bruh!. Just bring her a hot water bottle, snacks, and maybe don’t breathe too loudly.
If she’s crying over lil things, let her. Those mood swings aren’t her fault; they’re her hormones throwing a rager.
If you see them lying around, don’t make jokes. She’s already irritated. Be cool, offer help, and move on.
Here’s a gentle nudge - respect the women in your life. Not just during their periods, but always.
Anyways, I just hope you are not that one guy at school who annoyed that one severe cramps girl when she is on her initial period days. Its impressive that you are still breathing. 🤌
And stop asking me if a cool drink can cure my stomach ache. What did you even study in biology - air? Nothing on this planet can ever cure my cramps except, you paying for the maggi quantity you used to eat without empathy, just because you are elder. The partiality was so real.😭
And for my ladies if you’re thinking, “But I have so much to do! I can’t waste these 3 days” pause for a sec. Your uterus is literally staging a revolt. You’re already doing the most by just existing, so give yourself permission to slow down.
My whole point of publishing this on valentine’s day is just to tell my gals, you are perfect the way you already are. And I am glad if reading this blog on you periods, can make you feel a little better.
I will come back every time here and read when I am on my periods.
Feel free to share this to the men and women in your life.
Song suggestion: Scars to Your Beautiful by Alessia Car. Its a good one, give it a listen.