Let me begin with a confession: I started journaling this year February, because I thought “New Year, New Me!!”.. Also it’d make me look cool and it was overwhelming that time when I relocated in Bangalore. I went in with all the enthusiasm of someone who just bought a fancy pink notebook and a sticker pack. You know, like that one Youtube aesthetic shot😊, penning down deep thoughts, sipping coffee, and staring dramatically out the window as it rains.
Now let’s get a reality check here:
1)My brain can’t think deep to have deep thoughts.
2)I don’t drink coffee, ‘coz for some reason it makes me sleepy.
Quick Question, What do you think helped me stay awake whenever necessary in last 2 decades?
3)I can stare out for rain, but when I stare, it won’t rain. π_π
Here’s what I envisioned:
Here’s what actually happened:
Ignore your problems like I ignore my sticky notes and Journaling❤
So, here I am writing this blog today because yesterday, out of sheer curiosity (and maybe boredom), I decided to revisit my journal. And it was a ultra pro max emotional storyline. I didn’t realize 2024 was the worst year I’ve ever lived from my journal POV. Obviously it was me who has written it.
Whenever I have written the journal; all the tragic story of 20 lines, and what I am thankful for barely has 2 lines.😂 It helped me to keep a track of things I struggled once, I felt the need of it, ‘cos everyday chaos can make us forget little things like who we were and who were with us at bad times. It didn’t help me much on growing personally and maintaining good mental health.
Maybe I am writing the wrong way. 👉👈 bRUH!!
Every social media influencer out there insists you to write daily, like brushing your teeth or paying your bills. But let’s be real: some days we barely have the energy to change out of pajamas, let alone write down our depression on the paper.
Skipping days just made me feel guilty, which is ironic because journaling was supposed to reduce my stress, not add to it. I think my frequency was like once in a month or once in 2 weeks, when I get bored.
This is how my journal goes: I’ve been busy for 2 weeks, so I will write in short today.
Honestly, for some people, journaling is life-changing. It’s like that one friend who always says the right thing and never judges your choices. For others (hi, that’s me), it’s just… okay.
What I learned is that journaling isn’t some magical fix-all. It’s a tool, and like any tool, it works differently for everyone. For me, journaling felt more like shouting into the void. Some days, it was mildly cathartic. Other days, it was just me trying to remember if I paid the wi-fi bill.
Since journaling didn’t click, I explored other options:
Does journaling help? For some, absolutely. For me, not so much. And that’s okay! It actually depends a lot on your way of journaling as well. I would say, If you want to write a gratitude journal, you focus only on that, If you want to have aftermath of what you went through and how you overcame, focus on that.
Both ways help you in different ways:
At the end of the day, the goal is the same: to make sense of your world and feel a little lighter. Whether you do that by writing, talking, painting, or eating a bag of chips while staring at the ceiling, it’s all valid.
For that quick question the long answer is, I open my phone’s front cam and watch my face. That’s it, instant regret and the sheer disappointment in myself makes me stay awake.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to get some sleep. Ending this blog at 16:21 PM same day, Thanks for reading until here. Bibye :)
Edit: I forgot to mention the song. “Malibu Nights” by LANY beautifully captures heartbreak, resonating even with those who haven’t experienced it. Unlike typical breakup ex diss tracks, it delves into raw vulnerability and solitude, making it a rare gem among heartbreak anthems.
Listen to ‘Malibu Nights’ — https://Lany.lnk.to/MalibuNightsID